Gratitude is one of the most pleasant of the emotions and I wish to express mine to the Labour team who have not only given the SNP a commanding lead in the polls, but have consolidated it in the last couple of days. If an SNP administration is returned to Holyrood after May 5th, not only I, but the Scottish people will be in your debt for the service you have rendered to the nation.
THE STATEGIC TEAM
Colin Smyth - Scottish General Secretary
Rami Okasha - Head of strategy, policy and communications
Simon Pia - Special adviser to Rami Okasha at Holyrood
John Park - Campaign director
THE KEY FRONT BENCH TEAM
Andy Kerr - finance spokesperson
Jackie Baillie - health spokesperson
Richard Baker - justice spokesperson
THE KEY UK POLITICAL ADVISERS
Ed Miliband - Leader of the Labour Party and Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition.
David Cameron - Prime Minister of the UK.
Peter Hain, Chris Huhne and Michael Howard, for their expert highlighting on Question Time why Alex Salmond was the right First Minister for Scotland and for the NHS, creating during the debate the real possibility of his being given the freedom of the City of Liverpool, a great heartland of the working class and one of the great cities of the UK.
THE SCOTTISH PRESS TEAM
The Herald, The Scotsman, The Scottish Daily Mail, The Scottish Express, The Scottish Daily Record
(N.B. The Scottish Sun has played a significant role in the campaign to re-elect the SNP, but since they were not part of the Labour Team, I regret that I cannot mention them in this panegyric.)
THE CELEBRITY TEAM
Eddie Izzard - English comedian, film actor and would-be politician.
Lord George Foulkes - politician and media personality, with an instinctive but largely unconscious gift for comedy.
THE CRIMINAL TEAM
Prudence prevents me from listing the Labour MPs and Lords who have been sentenced to jail terms for criminal offences. I must also refrain from naming the near-criminal team - rather larger - who were guilty of stealing from the taxpayer through fraudulent expenses claims but who were not prosecuted. Nonetheless, I am grateful to them, anonymous though they must remain.
THE COUNCIL TEAM
A special mention must go to the controlling Labour Group in Glasgow City Council, who - from Steven Purcell through the ALEOs, to the public-spirited clearance of working class Glaswegians in Dalmarnock who were impeding the Commonwealth Games development and the astronomical profits of rich developers by misguidedly trying to get a fair price for their homes - showed what half a century of Labour control of Glasgow was really all about.
THE TRADES UNION TEAM
Special thanks to most of the trades union leaders, who in brave defiance of a mountain of facts showing that the Labour Party has been consistently bad for Scotland, and the rising chorus of dissent from a large number of their members, demonstrated that the career paths of full-time officials and dogged loyalty to the Labour Party and Westminster were infinitely more important to them than the jobs and living standards of the people of Scotland
Thanks in advance to Ed 'the Ballsup' Balls, Westminster English MP who has just arrived in Scotland to offer additional help to the Scottish National Party. Don't think we're not grateful, Ed - you might just secure the SNP an overall majority. But we won't count our chickens ...