Scottish Tories fight like ferrets in a blue sack – but there’s a new Scottish Ballet in the making–‘The Blue Shoes’

Peter Duncan should have realised it was a tactical mistake to have Ruth Davidson as his sound engineer.

Ah, the Scottish Tories - what can one say?

Fighting like ferrets over the identity of an irrelevant party in Scotland?

Well, I believe the centre-right needs a proper voice, although I don't share their politics. 420,000 Scottish voters need somebody to speak for them, or we'll wind up with the far right filling the vacuum. I favour Murdo Fraser, but I don't have a vote, and I doubt if they would give a committed SNP supporter a say in the matter.

However, it would take a heart of stone not to laugh at their antics on this programme - Stephanie Fraser should have brought along a choreographer from Scottish Ballet to bring some sort of grace to the uncoordinated movements.

The Wee Laird O'Drumlean will finance it ...

Scottish Tories wait nervously for the Great Schism – but hyphens could help …

What the Tories in Scotland - and this contest - need is more hyphenated surnames. A Tory without a hyphen is not a real Tory. But there's a hyphen on this panel, and one lady who sounds posh enough to have a hyphen but hasn't.

My suggestion is Murdo Fras-Er, Jackson Car-Law, Ruth David-Son, etc. - like Sir Malcolm Rif-Kind.

You'll never manage without a hyphen, Ruth ...

And David, it's not enough to put the stress on the last syllable of Mundell - it has to be Mun-Dell.